Child Like Faith

December 8, 2009

So, I guess it started snowing on our blog. I’m not quite sure how that happened. We looked at it one day and it was snowing.

I kind of like it, though. It matches the scene outside my window as I write today – the first “real” snowfall of the season for Akron, OH.  The snow is a reminder of the fall season coming to a close and the welcoming of winter. And that means we are this much closer to bringing our little boy home 🙂

I haven’t said much about the family that I babysit for  on this blog, but they have been a huge support to us during this adoption process. They are like family to me and I am so blessed to have them in my life.

I help look after 4 kids: two girls ages 7 and 6, as well as a set of 2 year old twin boys (just weeks apart from my little D). I’ve been working with them for the last 4 years and I love them like my own nieces and nephews.

It has been so fun watching them learn about our adoption. We decided to wait until we got our referral to even tell the kids that we were adopting because we weren’t sure if they would totally understand what was going on.

Once we told them, we had to convince one of the little girls that we were not going to meet Mrs. Hannigan from Annie. (That was their only reference for words like “orphanage” and “adoption”).

Ella, the 6 year old is so excited. She is counting down the days until February (that’s when she thinks D is coming home – let’s hope she’s right!). Every day that I come to their house, she wants to look at his picture album.

The other morning, Ella and I were sitting at the kitchen table and she was eating her waffle. Out of the blue she asked, “Kate, who tucks D in at night?”

“I’m not sure, Ella”, I said. “Probably one of the caretakers.” She paused for a moment. Then another question.

“Kate, does he have to share the toys you gave him with the other kids?”

“Yes. But, he’s good at sharing. Remember I told you about how he likes to share his goldfish crackers with me and Steve?”

She laughed thinking about that. Then another munch on her waffle as I watched her little mind process her questions. She looked down at her waffle then asked “What does he eat for breakfast?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe oatmeal.”

The conversation then moved to how excited she is for him to come home. How she can’t wait to read him stories and teach him how to play with her toys. How she can’t wait for her brothers to have a new friend.

With tears in my eyes, I told her I was so excited too and told her how lucky our little guy is going to be to have friends like her.

Her questions and excitement remind me of what it means to have a child-like faith. My mind these days have been more filled with the fears of what the next couple of months MIGHT bring. The “what ifs”.

  • What if something happens and adoptions stop all together?
  • What  if our little guy is no longer available?
  • What  if we get over there and the judge says no?
  • What if February turns into March and March into April?
  • What if..What if… What if..

Then there are the irrational fears. The things I can’t control take over my life and I lose sight of the amazing gift of our little man.  But, not Ella.

Ella is seriously so excited about our little boy coming home. She is looking forward to Christmas, not just for the gifts, but because it means it’s one more holiday she can check off, that brings her closer to February. Her excitement is contagious. Her innocent, child-like faith is something that I want more of.

Her mind is more consumed with what it’s going to be like when he does come home than if he is going to come home.  She is thinking about what to play with him when she finally meets him, instead of if she will ever actually meet him.

My prayer is that I would be more like Ella. That my faith in God’s protection over this process, our lives, and mostly over our little man, would trump irrational fears or even legitimate fears.

My prayer is that I would allow my mind to dwell in the belief that God is good and faithful and trustworthy, regardless of the outcome. That I would, like a child, believe that God is bigger than me, so I just trust. Simply.

Updates:

  • we just got word today that we will need to do more paperwork (all because of a tiny correction someone made on one of our documents). This is incredibly frustrating.
  • Thankfully these documents shouldn’t hold up the process, so we hope to get our court date soon.

Prayer Requests:

  • for God to calm our hearts as we wait and wait and wait
  • that God would watch over our little D and somehow let him know we are coming for him

Until next Monday, love Kate & Steve

Advertisements

6 Responses to “Child Like Faith”

  1. Kacey said

    Hang in there, sister. Christmas will be over soon, then New Year’s will zip by. Then you’ll be typing the title, “We leave next month to pick up our son!!!” It WILL happen. Like I said before: soon you’ll be sitting at home, tucking D into bed, and all of this current “stuff” will be a great big blur.

  2. Sarah said

    Unlike all of the previous waiting, I believe waiting for a court date did get easier once I got closer to the 8 plus week mark. We also waited over the Christmas period and having Chrismas, New Year’s and (for NZ’ers) the summer holidays did make it a bit easier, I think.
    I know how hard the ‘what ifs?’ are and what a battlefield the mind can become when there is so much at stake. It really helps to have a few verses to speak out when you find your mind going there. God has placed the desire to be parents in you, he is a good God and he has a perfect plan for your lives.
    I pray that you will have perfect peace over the next weeks and that God calms your hearts and guards your minds. I also pray that all of your paperwork is in order and that the judge has a light workload and can make a court date soon.

  3. Monica said

    Hi there… I just came across your blog and this last post place my heart back in December of 2007, when I was in your shoes, waiting for a court date. Those news came to us December 12, and 6 weeks later we were on our way back to Russia.

    Have faith. Like you, I went through the “if” scenarios in my head so many times. It was hard not to, I think is a defense mechanism we build as humans to get us mentally ready for the worse case scenario.

    Will be thinking of you!

    • Yuri said

      So, I don’t know if you remember me, but I worked with the Youth a million years ago. I know exactly how you feel. We adopted our little boy almost 7 years ago and are currently in the process again. In fact, about 7 years ago today, we got our first phone call asking if we’d take a newborn. A million questions go through your head at that point. What will I feel? What if I don’t feel anything? What if he doesn’t like me? What if, what if… But the moment that it happens, everything changes. He’s yours and your heart swells and you know it’s right. Just remember that every delay, every change of plan is so infinitely ordained in God’s hands. At the end of the process, you will be brought closer to understanding your adoption into the family of God. You will see sovereignty and grace and the amazing care with which He showed one child the amazing love of Christ. You will be fine. You will be a great mom. You had great examples and you love God. At the end of life, our children won’t remember the times we forgot to buy their favorite cereal or when we missed catching them they fell the first time they tried to walk. They’ll remember the insane times you snuck into their room and scared them awake, (mean, but funny) and the midnight snack attacks and the popcorn and movies on the couch no one’s supposed to eat on. They’ll remember all the fun parts of growing up in a loving family and if God blesses, they’ll be thanksful for it all. God bless you as you take your baby steps toward parenting.

      Much love,
      Yuri Yanagida Brown

  4. april said

    HellO! I am new to your blog and have loved reading it! I am in Mansfield, so not that far away! We are in the VERY beginning stages of adoption! My husband is still praying about it and my heart is leaning towards africa! We went to AGCI’s adoption seminar last night! Still deciding whether to adopt through Uganda or Ethiopia if the Lord does lead us to adopt! I LOVED the video you two did to send to family and friends for prayer and financial support! If there is any information you can give us to who you did it and all that, I would love to know because I would love for Jim and I to do something similar if/when we do decide to adopt! Thanks so much!

  5. Hey,

    This is Laura Jones’ husband Landon. I just wanted to say that I totally understand your frustration with the paperwork. I took the lead on that for us and remember every confusing hoop we had to jump through and every asinine problem! Please hang in there. I am praying you will. I just know exactly how much frustration, bitterness and anger can behind that small sentence in a prayer request. Please know that someone who has been there not long ago is praying for you!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: