Be strong, Take heart

November 10, 2009

Today has been one of those days…the kind where you want to stomp your feet, cross your arms and pout. The kind of day where you would love to revert back to the inhibitions of a 3 year old and throw a nice, big tantrum.

For the last 2 weeks we have been filling out piles of paperwork that needed to be sent out, sent back to us and sent out again.  We were hoping that it would all get back to us by today so we could take it up to Cleveland to get all of the documents state certified. Thankfully it all arrived! The day was going great so far.

I was so excited to get everything finished today.  Normally these documents would need to be mailed to the state secretary in Cincinnati. However, Cleveland has now opened an office (not that you care, but those are the things that excite me these days). So instead of paying lots of postage and having to wait several days, Steve and I were going to make a day of going up to Cleveland, finishing our paperwork, and doing some shopping in the area.

Everything went smoothly. After getting stuck in a parking garage (since they wouldn’t accept credit cards or checks to pay our fee) we got a call from our agency that we still need to complete yet another document.

I know it’s not that big of a deal. In the grand scheme of life and with all the problems in the world, news like this really shouldn’t send me into tantrum mode. But it did.

I was so excited to finally be free from the weight of this 2 year long paperwork. I was so looking forward to taking this stack of papers to the post office tomorrow morning and knowing that my part was finished for a while. Then comes a phone call informing me that it’s not finished. And our whole process gets held up because of one measley document.

It’s no one’s fault, it’s just the way this process goes. We’ve been told over and over again that international adoption is not for the faint of heart, and that you have to be totally flexible while having a sense of humor or you’d go insane. Today, I’m understanding why.

I just want to get over to Russia and be with my little boy. I want to hold in my arms and kiss him and hug him. I want to bring him home and live life with him. I want to rake leaves together and watch him fall in love with his daddy. But unfortunately, this is not a reality right now. One day it will be…and soon! But, my little 3 year old voice is crying out, “I want it right NOW!!!”

So we got home and I spent some time praying, pleading with God to comfort me. Immediately, this verse came to mind, “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” Another version reads, “Wait on the LORD; be of good courage and HE will strengthen your heart.”

I love that the verse uses the word “LORD.” I learned in a Bible study once that when the Scripture has the word LORD in all capital letters, it is referring to God as the covenant-keeping God. I love that so much. The promise in this verse is that God will strengthen my heart as I courageously wait.

God is the heart-strengthening, covenant-keeping, all-loving, ever-faithful God. He knows the depths of my heart and loves me the same.

As I sat tonight, throwing my tantrum before Him, I felt as if He scooped me up in His loving, Fatherly arms and said, “Wait on ME. Be brave. I will give you the strength.” So, I took a deep breath. And here I am, writing, waiting, being brave.

Updates:

  • the sooner this paperwork is complete, the sooner we will receive a court date
  • Until then, our pictures and videos of our little guy have been a treasure chest to us

Prayer Requests:

  • patience – we are so ready to be done with this process
  • for our son – that God would knit his little heart to ours

Thanks for walking this journey with us. Everyone experiences the ups and downs and twists and turns in the paths they walk. I am grateful that so many people have chosen to walk our path with us. We have felt so much love and support and encouragement – it encourages me to be strong as I wait.

Until next Monday, love Kate & Steve.

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4 Responses to “Be strong, Take heart”

  1. Kacey said

    Finally! I’ve been waiting all day long for this post. ; ) You know I know EXACTLY what you mean with all of your struggles today. Remember when after we got our 3rd referral and were waiting for travel dates, that Russia rejected ALL of our dossier paperwork because it had a “blacklisted” agency’s heading on the paperwork? I feel your pain. It sucks. It sucks hard. But, as you said, the LORD and His plan will prevail…not the paperwork. 🙂 Pretty soon you’ll be home with him, rubbing Elimite cream on his scabies (whoops, that’s me) and all this other crap will be a big huge blur. You’ll get thru this, my friend. Now go shopping and buy that boy some Christmas presents!!!

  2. Stephanie Karasek said

    Hang in there Kate! I know it is so hard. It seems like there is always one more document. I will keep praying that you are able to get a court date soon. Don’t forget that God’s timing is perfect! You will have your precious son home soon!

  3. Sarah said

    Yes, the paperwork does eventually end! Although even now, 2 years on, I get a surprise when I’m not required to have 30 different forms, notified and colour copied in order to join my local library or enroll at school!
    Anyway use the time to start getting ready for your little boy’s homecoming, Oh and I would include buying scabies cream, I wish I was kidding!

  4. jodi tucker said

    I can’t even imagine the paperwork craziness. But I can continue to pray for you and Steve and Little Man G. I pray for your heart to be strengthened with HIS strength and patience…..and that our God would knit all of your hearts together! Where would we be without our God??

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