Joy in Connection

November 3, 2009

It’s hard to believe that it has already been a week since returning from meeting our precious son. In a way it feels like it has been forever since we have seen him, and at times it feels like it was just this morning that we were playing with him and hearing his precious giggle and seeing his glowing smile.

Maybe it’s because Steve and I watch the videos that we took of him while we were there every day. Maybe it’s because God is continuing to prepare our hearts for having him in our home forever. As we watch the video, Steve and I pick up on more and more cute little details of our time with our little man.

When we were with him, we were so in the moment. We weren’t  trying to understand the “why” behind everything that he did. Now we have the luxury of watching these videos and trying to get into the mind of this little two year old.

One moment I absolutely love took place on our last day at the orphanage. It began when Steve picked up our little man and he pressed his check against Steve’s. I was singing a little song while Steve and our son were dancing together. In all of this he would not remove his cheek from Steve’s face. Then while I was holding him, he did the same thing.

embrace

It was so precious because he really wanted to look at me, but he didn’t want to take his cheek off of my face. So, you can see in the video his big eyes looking as far as he can to the left as his face is attached to mine. There was so much connection in that moment.

It was such a picture of joy and enjoyment, experiencing the intimacy and closeness of parent and child. It was unlike any experience I have ever had and I’m sure unlike any he has had either. That picture is one that I will forever carry in my heart as a reminder of how joy is such a byproduct of connection.

I think about that with our son, but I also think of it in family and friendships. As we feel connected with each other, we find enjoyment in the relationship. Ultimately this is how God designed relationships to be.

We are now in a unique period of waiting. We have so much joy and relief in knowing that God has set aside this little man for us, but at the same time there is pain. Sometimes it just hits me during the day or as I go to sleep at night. I’ll often wonder what he is doing, how he is feeling, if he is itchy, if his booboos on his little hands are being kissed and cared for.

In some ways I just want to close my eyes and hibernate for 4 months until it is time to go back and get him. But I know that would not be the fulfilling life that God has for me in these next 4 months. He wants me to find enjoyment in the waiting. I know I can only do that if I am close to Him. If my face is connected to HIS cheek, so I can hear the God of the Universe whispering into my ear, “I love you. I have great things for you. Even NOW.”

I need His truth in my life. I need connection to His heart. I need to feel rest and peace in His arms. Through this, I will experience joy, even amidst the pain of waiting for my son.

I have already seen how the story of our little guy has affected the lives of so many. Last night Steve shared with our high school students an incredible talk on God, our Father’s love, and how His love for us was magnified through experiences in the orphanage in Russia. (If you want to listen to it, here’s the LINK. It requires quicktime).

Afterwards, several students approached me, expressing their desire to adopt, work in an orphanage, or contribute money towards something greater than themselves. I actually received an email today from a high school girl who has a birthday coming up. She said that for her birthday party, she wanted the people who came to give towards something significant, rather than receiving gifts. She asked if she could raise money at her birthday party for our adoption.

My heart is so full…which seems so contrary to my circumstances. I know this is only from God. Only this kind of contentment and joy can come from an all-loving God who has His cheek firmly pressed against mine.

Updates:

  • we have been so deeply blessed by the community of believers. Among the ways we’ve been blessed…
  • people have bought clothes for our little guy
  • One friend is making us a creative memory book containing the pictures we took in Russia
  • friends have given us money, toys, books, encouragement notes
  • we even received a package from a family with young children, each of these kids wrote personal notes to our son. So touching!

Prayer Requests:

  • there are times when we really feel the pain of separation, pray that God would protect our hearts
  • pray for our sweet little boy, that God would keep him strong until we come and get him
  • pray for our court date to come soon!!!

Thanks so much for the encouragement. It has been a life source to us. Until next Monday, love Kate and Steve.

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2 Responses to “Joy in Connection”

  1. Sue said

    Cheek to cheek with you, Jeff, and now Lucy is one of my very favorite positions. I long to be cheek to cheek with your little guy too. That will be an incredible day- not too long from now.
    Dad and I listened to Steve’s podcast tonight- it was so touching and teaching. Thanks for sharing it.
    We love ya’ll.
    Mom

  2. Mama Mary said

    I love the picture of you and D, and absolutely love the “picture” of cheek to cheek with God – it adds another level to intimacy – first I crawl up into the Father’s lap – then feel His loving arms around me – and THEN cheek to cheek. Wow, Kate!

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