What’s Next?

October 27, 2009

I’ve been sitting here staring at the blank screen of my computer for the last few minutes, wondering how in the world to summarize the most life changing week I’ve ever experienced. There are so many emotions swirling around in my heart and I can’t seem to land on just one. I feel like I move in and out of gratitude, excitement, anticipation, pain, frustration and longing.

We had an amazing rest of the week in Russia. Each day, we learned more and more about our little man. Each day he became more comfortable with us as we caught glimpses into his personality and his heart. He is a sweet, funny, curious little boy who functions best when things are in order around him (sounds a lot like his papa).

By the second day, our little guy was feeding us goldfish and staring deep into our eyes trying to figure out who these strange people were. The third day, he was exploring the room and looking back at me to make sure I was still there. He would go get a little toy to play with and immediately come back and sit on Steve’s lap without even being asked. He knew where he belonged.

kissy

By our last day, when the door opened and he walked in the room, his eyes lit up and a smile spread across his face as he made his way over to papa for a hug. I replay each hour of the time we spent with him over and over in my head, savoring each moment, each smile, each giggle, each connection. It all went by too quickly.

As soon as our family time would begin, it would feel like only seconds before the caretaker would knock on the door and he would be taken away. I often wonder what he must have thought. He was told that we were mama and papa and that we were coming back for him, but I don’t know if his little 2 year old mind comprehends what that means.

Who are these people who bring me goldfish and hug me and kiss me all the time? Who are these people who eye’s light up when they see me? Who are these people who left tears on my shoulder when I saw them the last time?

My prayer is that he would hold us in his heart, that as he looks at the picture album we gave him of pictures of us playing with him and smiling with him, that he would find comfort and somehow know in his little heart that we will be back…soon.

On the last day, the orphanage medical director (who helped us piece together our little guy’s story) asked, “do you have any more questions?”  I said, “can we take him home now?” She smiled and said…”I wish you could.”

Thank you for continuing to pray. There is still so much to be done before this process is over. Right now, we are beginning some more paperwork that is needed for the court, but couldn’t be done until we officially accepted him. So, we will begin that, along with updating some other expired paperwork.

While this is happening, our facilitator in our region is sending our formal adoption request to Moscow. It takes about 1 month for this to become official. Once it is official, and all of our paperwork is in, it will be presented to the judge in our region. Our facilitator thinks that will happen at the end of November. That is when we will be given an official court date.

Since Christmas in Russia is in January, it looks like our court date will either be sometime at the end of January or in February. We are still praying for a miracle, and asking that you would too. But, also realizing that the reality is that it will probably be February before we go back. So, that is where we are in the process and why it will take so long.

Steve describes what we are feeling very well. He says that before Russia, we were experiencing the pain of silence. Day after day we wondered if we would ever get “the call”. We wondered if we would ever go to Russia…if we would ever meet our child. And now, we are experiencing the pain of separation.

We love our son more than we ever thought we could and we miss him more than we ever thought we could.

I know he is being fed, and has a warm place to sleep. He gets a bath and interacts with his other little friends and caretakers. But, we were made to have intimate relationships with each other. And he was made to have a mommy and daddy. Someone to whisper “I love you” in his ear when he is sad or afraid. Someone to claim him as their own. Someone to say, “he’s MINE.”

We are so happy to say that, “He is ours. God has given him to us.” My prayer is that he would know that in his heart even now. My prayer is that he would know, that of all of the children in the whole world, God set him aside for us.

We were trying to come up with a tangible way to show our little guy when he gets home that he was in our hearts. So, we bought this jar and each night we go into his room and pray for him. When we finish praying, we put a marble in the jar. By the time he comes home forever, he will see this jar and be reminded that even though we were apart, his heart was close to ours as we brought him to the Lord.

marble jar

A good friend reminded me  of the truth that God is the defender of the weak and that He comforts those in need. Our prayer is that God will be our little man’s defender and comforter when we cannot be there for him at this time.

There are so many stories and memories, and we will take time over the next couple of months to share those with you. Thanks for continuing with us!

Updates:

  • we need to finalize some paperwork then it’s back to more waiting
  • In the meantime, we stare at the pictures and videos we have of our little guy to help hold us over

Prayer Requests:

  • pray that our son would make the connection that the people in his picture book are his parents and they are coming back for him
  • pray that the caretakers would love him and treat him well until we come back to get him

Until next Monday, love Kate and Steve

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12 Responses to “What’s Next?”

  1. Hi,
    so what is the name you guys choose for him?

  2. Victoria said

    That is such a great idea with the marbles! Love his little toes – so glad everything went well. This wait is bad, but at least you know what to expect. The other wait is just endless. I would focus on your court date being in February, and if it’s sooner, that is great, but if not, you won’t go crazy. (From first trip to court, was 4 months for us, so I would count on that.) I bet you feel like Russia was almost a dream! Enjoy getting his room ready –

  3. kirsten said

    “a refuge for the poor, a shelter from the storm,
    this is our God. He will wipe away your tears and return your wasted years, this is our God.

    a father to the orphan, a healer to the broken, this is our God. He brings peace to our madness and comfort in our sadness, this is our God.

    a fountain for the thirsty, a lover for the lonely, this is our God. He brings glory to the humble and crowns for the faithful,this is our God.

    so call upon His Name, He is mighty to save, this is our God.”

    your friend is right! this song touched me so much as we waited, a strong reminder that while josh couldn’t physically father our children, God was fathering them. and this song still touches me so much today as i think about all of the other little ones out there waiting for their earthly fathers.

    i know this time is hard so i am not going to try to sugarcoat it. i just want you to know i feel so strongly for you and your little guy and i am praying for you and your journey. 🙂

  4. Sarah said

    This kind of waiting is so hard. I agree with Victoria, pick a date you think might be possible and work towards that. Waiting is a lot easier when you have an idea of when it’s going to end.
    We also waited over Christmas and I don’t think it slowed us down that much at all. We met our children on Nov 19th and our court date was Feb 14th.
    Third Day have a beautiful song written by a band member who was waiting over Christmas to adopt from China, it’s called Merry Christmas (I still need a box of tissues whenever I listen to it).
    Praying for you and your little one.

  5. Mama Mary said

    God put D in your heart, Katie – He will hold you & Steve in D’s heart until you bring him home.

  6. Michal said

    I love hearing your story 🙂

  7. kathy said

    Dear Steve and Kate,

    I cannot thank you enough for your words of wisdom and I, too, wait for “the call”. And knowing your call came and you traveled to meet your son gives me so much hope and that extra boost I needed to continue this waiting. Thank you again, for everything, for your inspiration, your hope, your honest expression of feelings and most of all, for reminding me that “the call” will come and when it does, it is going to be amazing!!

  8. Lee Starlin said

    I look forward to your story every Monday and really looked forward to it this week. It will seem like forever before your sweet little man is home, but it will go quicker than you think. Looking forward to seeing him visit everyone in NC.

  9. Sarah said

    Wow! Yippeee! I prayed for you this week and I am so glad everything went off without a hitch. Your story has given our 10 months of waiting a little boost! Thank you. It is so reassuring to hear that he is being well cared for. Can’t wait to hear more!

  10. Phyllis said

    You have a beautiful gift in the way you express your love and longing for this precious little boy. Having been in many orphanages in Russia, it sounds like he is in a good one(as you know there is a lot of variety). The Lord is so good to lead you to him and to lead this little guy to you. I can’t think of a better couple to love HIS child. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful journey with all of us! I’m praying.

  11. Angie said

    I cried when I read about the marbles! I have been following you story for a LONG time now and am praising God with you! You have reminded me of God’s lovingkindness many times as my family goes through its own struggle. In fact, my last post was about you! Come on over! Love you guys. I check in faithfully every week and can’t wait for more news! I will be praying for you during this time of waiting.

  12. Victoria said

    LOVE the new picture! Those Russians must think you two are adorable!

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