No Pictures, Only Feelings

August 11, 2009

I recently purchased a book that I would HIGHLY recommend for any couple who is in the process of adopting a child from another country. It is called, “The Complete Book of International Adoption”, by Dawn Davenport.

It is such a great resource, highly practical, full of great stories of adoptive parents. What drew me in was the way Dawn began this book with a prayer for all children…

“I pray that all children will be loved for who they are, for no reason other than that they are.
I pray that all children will be loved as first best, not second best;
that they will be loved with an intensity that can move mountains, because life will present plenty of mountains that will need to be moved.
I pray that all children will have someone who will…
Seek them, and only them, out of the crowd on the stage;
Push them to reach for their goals and discover their unique gifts;
Hold them accountable for their actions with love and dignity;
Advocate for them through this maze called life;
Explain the unexplainable;
And smile when they walk into the room, just because they did.
Mostly I pray that all children will have someone who knows them well enough and loves them deeply enough to see the divine spark that is unique in them.
I pray that this be the birthright of all children throughout the world.
And since this birthright can only be fulfilled by parents, I pray that each child, regardless of the circumstances of their birth, finds their parent and each parent finds their child.”

Isn’t that beautiful? As I close my eyes and picture what it looks like to be sought out, to be pursued, to be loved so much, with such a strong intensity; I get overwhelmed with emotion.  There is nothing quite like the proactive love of a parent to a child.

This is the type of love that goes before a child and protects their every step. Its a love that walks beside a child, proud to be their parent just because they are their child. Its a love that comes behind a child and pushes them to greatness and guides them into the scary places of life. Its a love that reaches around their child and is a refuge in those scary places. This is the kind of parent that I so desire to be.

My prayer is that our little one will see our eyes light up as we walk in the room to meet them for the first time. I pray that their heart would feel ours leap with joy, excitement, and wonder. I pray that they would hear in our voice soothing words of comfort and peace. This is my prayer for our first encounter with our child.

I have been thinking about those first moments so much lately. I don’t know why, but I just feel like my mind continues to draw towards that day when I will see my baby face to face. It is such a strange feeling because I have no pictures in mind when I think about that day. I have no context to refer back to. I have no pictures, I only have feelings.

These feelings are more vivid than any I have ever felt. These feelings range from excitement to fear to overflowing love that can’t be contained. And so I take those feelings and hold onto them like pictures, until the day that I will no longer need to imagine.

Updates:

  • we have been corresponding with families we met through this blog who have shared recent stories about their Russian adoptions.
  • These stories have been encouraging to us because they remind us that adoptions are indeed moving forward…we continue to wait.

Prayer Requests:

  • continued strength as we wait and dream
  • for the caretakers of our little one, that they would love and nuture our child until we can finally bring him/her home

Until next Monday, love Kate & Steve

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3 Responses to “No Pictures, Only Feelings”

  1. Mom said

    This is beautiful Katie. I love the prayer, but I also was captivated by the imagery of the parent you described. You and Steve are going to be that type of parents- I just know it! What a wonderful family you will make.
    Love,
    Mom

  2. Mama Mary said

    God put those feelings in your heart, Kate. Hold on to them!

  3. Thanks for the recommendation. I’ve already asked the library to put it on hold.

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