Peace

August 4, 2009

I am writing today’s blog from beautiful North Carolina, sitting in my parents’ house. I am here visiting and enjoying being with family. But, this trip is different than any I have had before.

Yesterday, I got to meet my beautiful, new niece for the first time. She is my brother’s daughter. She is just gorgeous. Thick, precious hair, a cute little nose, long eyelashes (like her mommy). As I rocked her in my arms, I looked at her darling face and I thought about what word I would use to describe her. Peace.

Kate and Lucy

She laid there, not a care or worry in the world. Her mommy has taught her that when she is hungry she will be fed. When she has a dirty diaper, it will be changed. She is safe. Secure. Has no reason to feel fear or worry. Those feelings have not even been introduced into her little life yet. She trusts…without even trying to trust. She just does.

It is a beautiful picture of peace. I thought about what that looks like for us, as adults, to truly be at peace. To be able to rest in our Father’s arms, knowing that our needs will be taken care of, to trust because I have no reason not to, to trust because I know that God’s love for me is bigger than my circumstances.

Lucy (my niece) has reminded me about trust and peace, and how these two words go hand in hand. As we trust, we have peace. My prayer is that my life could be described as peaceful – that as I live in the flow of the story that God is writing for me, that I would live in peace, trusting that God has my days planned out for me.

I want to be reminded that He is caring and madly in love with me. And He also sees the bigger picture – He sees the other “players” that will move in and out of my life. He knows what I need to make me a more textured person, to make me more loving, more patient, more trusting. Peace is what I long for.

It also made me think about our little one. One of the things that we have read as we have studied international adoption is that many of the children have reasons to not trust. Many children come from a background that has included neglect and pain.

For many of the biological parents, it was a selfless decision to give their child up for adoption – to know and believe that someone else could offer them a better life…a terribly difficult decision, I am sure.

But the reality is, that although the decision was selfless and absolutely loving on the part of the biological parent, our child may not see it that way. They may see that they were “given up” or abandoned. They may struggle, even at a young age, with what it looks like to trust and live in peace. It is my desire that through their life, they will be convinced that they are deeply wanted, and that we will do everything we know to do to meet their needs, to be there for them.

But peace and trust will take time. We know that our little one will not just trust us right away. They don’t know us. They don’t know that when they are hungry, we will feed them. They will not know that when their diaper is dirty we will change them. They will not know that the deepest prayers of our hearts have been answered through their life. They will not know what it looks like to trust us.

So, as I pray today, I pray that our child will trust easily. That even now, in a supernatural way, our little one’s heart will begin to be prepared for us…that even in their little soul and body, a stirring and a desire will be placed in them that longs for parents who love them. And that when our eyes meet for the first time, they will feel deep within them peace.

It seems crazy to ask that for a little infant. But, I feel that is the prayer that God is putting on my heart today for our baby, so I pray.

Thank you for joining with us. We are so grateful that you are sticking this journey out with us. It’s long and tough, but I know and trust that God is going before us and preparing the way for us. Thank you for trusting that with us.

Updates:

  • we are hearing positive reports out of Russia that adoptions seem to be moving at a decent pace
  • we know our name is on the list, we just continue to wait

Prayer Requests:

  • Peace for us
  • Peace for our little one

Until next Monday, love Kate & Steve

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2 Responses to “Peace”

  1. Mama Mary said

    Praying peace over the three of you.

    Please tell your mom I said hi and thanx for the prayers.

  2. kirsten said

    praying for peace. i know this is all hard, but i love what the Lord is teaching your heart about your little one. He is preparing you so much to understand and to seek to understand the needs your child may have. it is so beautiful to watch Him getting you ready for motherhood. 🙂

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