Blessings in the Valley

April 7, 2009

Music has always been a part of my life. There are certain songs that bring me back to specific events and times in my life so vividly. Like when I hear “the ants go marching one by one”, I become a little girl swinging in a hammock with my mom, brother, and neighbors on summer days, singing that song and laughing.

When I hear Paula Abdul “Opposites Attract”, I am immediately transported back to childhood bedroom, singing to my mirror as if I were in front of an audience of thousands. When I hear the song “Shout to the Lord,” I am back in high school, behind a piano leading worship with my youth group.

When I hear “One Pure and Holy Passion”, I am standing on the steps of a church singing beside my husband on our wedding day. It’s amazing how much power there is in music and song.

This past week, I have been thinking through all of the songs that have ministered to my soul over the past few years. The years of infertility, the pain, the desperation, the crying out to God. One of the songs that has been on my mind recently has been “Find me in the River”, by delirious. One of the lines says, “if the blessing is in the valley, then in the river I will wait.”

Blessings in the valley. One of the blessings that I have received as a result of being in the valley over the past few years is the connection of one pained heart to another. Before infertility, it always felt like I got what I wanted, when I wanted it.

My parents were amazingly sacrificial and generous in my childhood and allowing me a wonderful college education. I married a man right after college. And not just any man, but a man far beyond what I could have ever asked or imagined. I lived a pretty pain-free life. Yeah, there were bumps and bruises along the way, but nothing that I felt like I couldn’t really handle on my own.

Then came infertility. This circumstance was completely out of my control, out of my plans, and there was nothing I nor anyone else could do about it. I couldn’t pray enough, hope enough, work enough, bargain enough….and so the pain of my humanity, met the beautiful, loving, compassionate heart of God…in a way that I had never felt before. This irony of hope and peace in the midst of pain and frustration became a gift.

This past week, a dear friend has found out some really painful news about her husband’s health. Although the circumstances of her pain is nothing like my circumstances, there is a connection that I feel to her heart that comes out of my own pain. It is beautiful. I don’t think that I would have been able to have the same compassion for her without the pain of my own infertility. Blessings in the valley. So I ask for more.

Updates:

  • things continue to be very quiet – we have nothing new to report

Prayer Requests:

  • for strength as we continue to wait
  • for our little one – that they would be nurtured and loved until we meet
  • that we would get some news soon that would be encouraging

Until next Monday, love Kate & Steve

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7 Responses to “Blessings in the Valley”

  1. Mom said

    Wow Katie! This is beautiful! Thanks for sharing this. I will wade in the river with you girl!

  2. Ronnie Lowe said

    My sweet, precious little girl,
    I want so badly to just “fix” this because that is what I have always done and that is what a Dad does, but I know this is much bigger than me. I can’t even begin to tell you all the areas of my life this journey has touched. And even though I can’t “fix” this one, I can stand right there in the river with you and Steve and that is exactly what I plan to do. No matter how long, how deep or how curvey it gets, I’m right there with you!

  3. sarah said

    When we were in the middle of all of the waiting I kept getting a Thrid Day song in my head called Tunnel, although I didn’t tell anyone at the time. The main line is “There’s a light at the end of this tunnel for you”. Everytime I felt like our adoption was never going to happen this song would pop into my head. About three months after were returned home with our two children, my daughter had her second birthday. Her Grandad gave her a lovely card and in it he wrote, ” We love you Ana, you are the light at the end of the tunnel”.
    Never forget that God is your stength in the valleys.
    Sarah

  4. Mama Mary said

    Sweet Katie Michelle: Thank you for the connection of our hearts in the pain, in the dark valleys. I absolutely loved your dad’s reply. I think that’s what our Heavenly Daddy is saying to us right now. No matter how long, how deep or how curvey it gets, He is right here with us.

  5. worded so perfectly kate, like only a person whose been on a painful journey can.

  6. joditucker said

    He knows my name. He knows my ev’ry thought.
    He sees each tear that falls, and hears me when I call…..in the river with you!

  7. Stephanie (Griggs) Fabricius said

    You may not remember me but I’d like you to know that when I hear “Shout to the Lord” I picture you sitting behind that piano leading the youth group. I want to thank you for all the time you spent encouraging others through music.

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